Quotes and
Feedback From Readers of the book
The
Woman Who Could Not Forget
By Ying-Ying Chang
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"I have just finished
reading your new memoir. I think you have succeeded brilliantly in
honoring your beautiful daughter. Be comforted to know that she would be
so proud of you in turn. I intend to donate my copy to my local library
so others can read as well.”
--J. M., 4/28/2011 |
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"I am deeply moved by
"The Woman Who Could Not Forget." The love between a mother and a
daughter and the friendship between two intellectuals come through the
book loud and clear. I admire very much Ying-Ying's effort in completing
this book. ......life is like a plain canvas. Iris certainly had painted
a picture of great courage, unwavering dedication, loving motherhood,
and deeply committed social justice on the canvas of her life. Our world
undoubtedly has become a better world through her hard work and
pains-taking research. I hope that by completing this book, you can have
some peace and closure in your life.”
–A.H., 6/3/2011 |
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"I am from Japan. ...I
began reading by Kindle version your recent book "The women who could
not forget" a few days ago. It is so gracefully written with parental
love toward your daughter that I feel the need to translate it into
Japanese so that they can understand Iris Chang better. This is going to
be a present for you as a friend from Japan...
” –Y.M., 6/10/2011 |
"I just finished reading
your biography of your daughter and I had to write you to tell you how Iris
touched my life, even though we never met, even though I didn't even know
she had died until I found your book in my local library...
I read 'The Rape of Nanking' when I was in 10th grade after I chose to write
a research paper on the subject...I'm now 25.... but I still remember direct
quotes from 'The Rape of Nanking.' It struck me so deeply, I don't know
why....So thank you for your book. Thank you for raising an incredible daughter.
...Iris's life was not in vain - her life had huge effects on world history
as well as small personal effects, like on a skinny, naive high-schooler
in rural Ohio.”
–A.V., 6/14/2011 |
"Thank you for writing
the book about Iris. When I first read in the news that she had taken her
life I was stunned and perplexed... It occurred to me that I knew nothing
about her; only that her books profoundly and permanently changed the way
I view the world. Your book answered so many questions that have haunted
me over the years..........
For me, Iris was far beyond being an extraordinary and gifted writer. She
was a universal hero for all mankind for bringing people together to face
their failures as humans thereby forcing upon us all the challenges to conduct
ourselves on a higher level with a more gentle civilized behavior.
As no authors before her, she really did transcend the boundaries of ethnicity
and nationality. She exposed bad behavior in some with the clear implication
that it as a trait in all, which can and should be reversed if there is
any hope for all people to live together in peace and harmony. In the end,
her efforts at human rights gave us all hope." – P.L., 6/27/2011 |
"I've just finished reading
your book about Iris. Although your daughter died young, I gather after
reading your book, Iris' life has an obvious purpose; and that she had fulfilled
that calling with lots of hard work, courage, sincerity, humility, and love.
Although she might not know before she passed away. I admire her a lot as
a person. Iris deserves all the credits from people, more than a Nobel prize.
You might not believe there is a God, a Creator of the universe at this
time of still sadness; but I can assure you that there will be justice at
the end of our time. Then, all the tears will be swiped away, and there
will be no more death and suffering.
I can tell from your hardwork that, Mrs. Chang, you are a wonderful
Mother, and Mr. Chang is a terrific Dad. There is no word to describe
this relationship. That is to say, this relationship is more than the
one between parents and child. It is a heavenly sight
!” --A.L., 7/8/2011 |
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"I am a reader from Canada,
with tears I just finished your recent book, 'The Woman Who could Not Forgot'.
I totally agree with you that Iris's suicide was due to her medication.
You see, I have suffered from bipolar disorder, and I immigrated from China
when I was young, so I absolutely understand the racial differences in prescribing
the psychiatric drugs. I too, was treated with Risperdal, and I remember
clearly the feeling of wanting to commit suicide, even I would never
consider the possibility of suicide without the drugs. I think that
people from China have the low threshold for psychiatric drugs, as Iris
was for sure overmedicated since her dosage were calculated based on
Caucasian patients. I would concur with you that without the side
effects of the psychiatric drugs, Iris would still be with us today.”
–P.H., 7/11/2011 |
"I have had the opportunity
to read all of Ms. Chang's books, as well as those related to her, including
her mother's "The Woman Who Could Not Forget." I found this book particularly
poignant and the words of her mother truly touched me....
Mrs. Ying-Ying Chang is a person of great strength, and it was a real
pleasure to read her work....”
–M.B., 7/15/2011 |
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“Iris Chang, brilliant historian, may have also had a 'Hemingway' experience of wondering where her mind had gone while on the powerful psychiatric drugs, Depakote and Risperdal as both of these drugs suppress cognitive function and blunt the emotions. Risperdal commonly causes extremely distressing neurological conditions like akathisia and Parkinsonism that can lead to suicide. Chang thus became a victim of another atrocity: that of the millions who have been injured, damaged or who have died due to exposure to psychiatric drugs. She is another gifted voice forever lost to the false promise of help from psychiatric 'medications.'” --Ginger Breggin, Editor of Dr. Peter Breggin’s Newsletter of 7/15/2011 |
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“Dear Mrs. Chang, I
heard about you and your daughter from Dr. Breggin's Newsletter
yesterday in which he mentions about your daughter and you and that you
believe that the psychiatric drugs your daughter were taking were
responsible for her suicide. I am writing you this message because I've
made a similar experience. Maybe it helps you to understand more.....
The drugs may not only alter the perception of a person, but also cause
a different behavior. I experienced it in my own body. But it’s hard to
explain to somebody else without sounding bizarre……” --O.B., 7/28/2011 |
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"I don't know if it's
possible to relay my e-mail, or at least its message, to Mrs. Chang, but
if it is, then please tell her I just finished her book about her
amazing daughter and loved it. It's a one-from-the-heart testament that
only a mother could write. Iris's Nanking book changed my life, and I
was grateful to her for having written it and continue to be grateful to
her memory. I cried when I read it and cried again when I went to the
Nanjing Memorial in 2002. When, in November 2004, I heard Iris had
passed away I felt like a part of me died, too, and was truly sick to my
stomach. And now Mrs. Chang's beautiful memoir about Iris also brought
me on the verge of tears." –R.F., 7/19/2011 |
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“I read your book about
your daughter, Iris Chang, with great interest. I was very touched by
her story and found myself crying at the end of your book. I was
introduced to Iris’s writing in 1997 when I purchased and read her book
the Rape of Nanking. After that I purchased and read her book on Chinese
in America. I have just now order the Thread of the Silkworm and will be
reading that when it arrives. Our two families have a lot in common. I
am also a university professor, in the Department of Psychology….My wife
was born and raised in Taiwan. I can empathize with you about the loss
of your daughter. From what you have written, the medication may have
played a role in her death but it was the mental health system that
failed her and your family…..” –T.V.C., 7/25/2011 |
"I am a Korean female,
back in school, we learned so much about what Japan did to Korea, but
not so much about Nanjing. I read some parts of Rape of Nanjing, and
perhaps I didn't feel ready to read the whole thing yet (a bit too
saddening), so I am starting to read Iris's other books (Chinese
American, and Silkworm).
I am so sorry for your loss, and the world's loss of her. Her influence
on the world, however, is immortal.
I am sad that she took too much medication, and I am very grateful for
you that you shared her case in detail, so that there won't be other
victims of medication.
I hope you and your family to be happy and healthy. Thanks a lot for
giving birth to and raising up such a wonderful person. Your book is so
full of love, and I miss my mom back in Korea." --J. S., 8/1/2011 |
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"“In May of this year,
Ms Mary Kissel penned a review of Ying Ying Chang's Book, The Woman Who
Could Not Forget. Part of that review recounted the unfortunate end of
Iris Chang's life……. I had very similar symptoms leading up to my
hospitalization, i.e. lack of sleep; poor appetite with ever more acute
delusional views. Unlike your daughter, post hospitalization, I was
quick to seek psychiatric assistance that did not involve medications….
It was my good fortune to find a psychiatrist who quickly weaned me away
from the inappropriate anti-psychotic medications I had been placed on.
Otherwise, I can only imagine what sort of end I would encounter.” --D.F.,
12/26/2011 |
"I just finished
reading your book and was so moved by it, I wanted to write you. I was
touched by many things you wrote about your daughter's short but
brilliant life, and the very wonderful relationship you two had.
I also wanted to say that I totally agree with your position against
psychiatric drugs. I have been against them for many years. I think they
do much harm, are simply treating symptoms and not getting the root of
people's struggles, and as in the tragic case of your daughter, can be
incredibly destructive. Through your writing I could imagine how
torturous it must have been for you as a mother to witness this tragedy
unfolding before your eyes. I was also struck by how clear it was that
the drugs made her condition worse, yet how difficult it was to go
against the opinions of ‘medical professionals.’ I believe she could
have been helped through other non-chemical means, and I am outraged and
saddened that we lost the bright light that was Iris Chang so
unnecessarily……
Thank you for sharing so much about her life and yours, and your
family's life. You have my deepest sympathy and respect.” –D. K.,
12/30/2011 |
“Recently I read your memoir
about your daughter Iris Chang. I found it deeply moving and admire your
courage in writing it. You clearly had a very close mother/daughter
relationship. Iris sounded like a very special person with a unique set
of talents. She showed tremendous bravery in her pursuit of writing
about topics many people would rather forget and incredible compassion
toward the subjects of her writing focus.
She could have chosen a number of career paths which would have led her
to success and security in life, but she chose instead to devote her
energy to causes which served others, often at her own personal risk.
Thank you for enlightening me on the historical event of the so-named,
Rape of Nanking, and thank you for sharing the life story of your
beautiful daughter.” --K. M., 2/4/2012 |
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“While I read your
book, I feel that there are so many things to share with you. I went
through some of the experience you went through during the last period
of Iris's life. My baby is recovering; I feel that I am luckier. As you
mentioned in the book, "There are some that live their lives for
others,” I really appreciate and admire that you wrote this book. By
reading your book, I can feel and understand much more of what my
daughter went through while she had depression, and I know that millions
of other families will learn a lot from your book. I know that while you
wrote the book, you are healing yourself, meanwhile, you are putting
salt in your wound. I can feel your pain and tears, but your courage is
saving and will save lots of young people and their parents.” --S. B.,
4/14/2012 |
| “尊敬的张
女士: 我刚刚读完在大陆面市的新书，您为纪念女儿写的书，我体会到她作为一名拥有独立人格的女性的灵魂的光芒。我也在几年前开始服用百忧解，对于您描述
的她开始服药时的反应我完全能体会，的确那几位医生应该在开始阶段开配合抗抑郁药物平复情绪的药给她.... 最后祝您和您先生健康长寿!感谢您的书让我
看到了人性的美丽! 一位母亲也姓张的女子”—6/15/2012 |
| “尊敬的张
盈盈女士，您好！非常感谢您写作《张纯如》，让我读到了一段令人感动与惋惜的故事。昨天看到消息，美国司法部宣布，葛兰素史克公司就医药欺诈等多项指控认
罪，并达成庭外和解，同意被罚30亿美元。这个消息再次证明，该公司几款抗抑郁药极可能导致提高自杀风险。我在您的书中看到您对纯如不幸离世的分析，讲到
她当时服用氟西汀（百优解）、帕罗西汀（赛乐特）等药物；同时您对人种与药量也有分析。您的见解虽来自巨大的不幸，但给人们提供了参考与借鉴。纯如的离世
是您们家庭的不幸，也是全球有正义感的人，特别是华人世界的不幸，再多的代价等无法挽回，但她留下的精神财富令人感动并激励我们前行！您的书不仅告诉了我
们关于纯如的故事，还让我们看到了美国社会，包括中学、大学教育，以及华人在美国移民、求学、教学、科研等工作生活的事情。再次谢谢您的慷慨与爱心。祝您
及家人健康、平安、幸福!”—Z.K., 7/3/2012 |
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"Mrs. Chang, your book
moved me to tears consistently, but never in a maudlin way. Of course,
the beautiful and tragic telling of your relationship with Iris moved me
but I was also greatly moved by the fact that I felt such a sense of
justice in reading about Iris's being the voice through which all those
victims of those horrible acts of the vilest of inhumanity were heard at
last. Your book is precise and to the point, sad, joyful, tragic, and
heroic. It is a fitting tribute to your daughter and it is one that I
have already recommended and talked about -- and will continue to. It
has also prompted me to add The Chinese in America to my reading list
and I will certainly move it very near the top of my list. It is my hope
that the legacy of Iris Chang be the realization that it is only
tolerance, love, and compassion which separates us from being mere
animals. I offer my congratulations on an unforgettable memoir!"
--R. P., 8/7/2012 |
“Mrs. Chang, after
reading your book I had the courage to pick up a pen and paper to tell
you in person for writing such an inspirational yet such a sad book……
Reading your book somehow showed me a glimpse of what Mother’s
experience. How much my mother loves me and only wants the best for me.
Yet the path that your children takes it seems like mother’s ultimately
do not have any control and have to just sit and watch. Reading your
book I couldn’t put it down! I felt your pain and frustration. I saw
your pride and happiness once in my mother also. When you smiled in your
book, I saw my mother smiles. When you were worried about your daughter,
I somehow saw that worried expression on my mother’s face. Reading your
book was so emotional for me! I cried with you and I also smiled with
you, because in your book I felt as I was listening to my own mother!
Although our backgrounds are completely different and even our
nationality is different, somehow I felt the most important thing I
believe when I read your book: A Mother’s UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!! It just
confirmed that a mother’s love is so much beyond my imagination which I
realized I have taken my mother’s love and concern for granted so many
times. Reading your book matured me as a son….as a person in general.
You motivated me to get through my tough times and journey so I can
again embrace my mother and tell her “thank you” and I love her
someday……” --J. Y., 8/15/2012 |
yy@irischang.net |
